There’s a quote I heard from someone I know that goes, “You start growing when you aren’t worried what people think of you when you leave the room and start wondering how you made them feel.” That’s something that has sat with me ever since I heard it and it has caused me to think about myself and my place in this world. Proposing the idea that maybe what you want doesn’t matter as much as you hoped it does, and forcing your agenda affects people around you negatively.
One of the most upsetting things in this life is wanting something or someone you can’t have. All of us have been in that position at one time or another and I think we can all agree it’s a pretty bad feeling. But, it feels even worse when you think that what you want is more important than what others want. Once you fall into that way of thinking everything seems to be against you. You start asking why everyone else doesn’t want what you want and you project that feeling onto others, expecting them to fulfill your wants. And when they don’t or can’t, they seem to have no value to you. You’re more worried about what you want than being in the moment or enjoying the presence of others. Activities aren’t as fun because what you’re doing might not be what you wanted to do. Trying to force these things takes away the natural flow of events and relationships. Precious time spent goes wasted because you were upset that it wasn’t how you wanted it to be exactly, and what could have been an amazing time is ruined because it wasn’t “perfect” when in reality it was. You just couldn’t see it.
Wanting something doesn’t mean you’re going to get it, or achieve it, or even experience it. Just because you want something in no way means that it will happen. Sometimes certain things will forever stay something you work for and never actually have. It’s just the way life works sometimes. So you can have that fact be a hindrance on your life or you can leave it as it is. A want.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t want things, you should always have wants in life and put effort into working for them. But what I am saying though is you shouldn’t base your life’s value on whether or not you get what you wanted. Not everyone gets everything they want. That’s how its always been for as long as humans have been on this planet, and I promise you that isn’t going to change for you.
So put your energy into others and stop worrying about if you’re getting what you want or not. Trying to force your own agenda will never be as fulfilling as spending time with others and doing things with zero expectations.