Regret can be one of the biggest issues and a person’s life, constantly thinking “what if?” and “why did I do that?” It can be like walking around with a dark cloud over you that no one can fix because it was brought on by you. It makes you look at yourself in a lessened manner than you should and affects your everyday mood. It can bring on self-hatred and even self-sabotage because you are so consumed with decision made in the past and how it has possibly changed the course of your life as it is today. In some extreme cases people never get over it and attribute any misfortune they encounter to the regrets they harbor, barring them from ever finding happiness. I’ve heard many people claim that the first step in getting better is forgiving themselves. While I partially agree, I feel it goes a little deeper in than just that.
I like to think that there are three versions of yourself. First, there is You. You hold all of the cards and are who makes all of the decisions for yourself. How you think about yourself and the way you go about life falls under your direction. Then there’s Past You, and he is everything that You used to be. All of your past thoughts and past decisions reside in him and there is nothing you can do to change him. Finally there is Future You. He is everything You will become. Future You is culminated of everything You are doing right now, and you are actively building him up every second with everything you do. Now that you’ve met you other selves, we can move on.
There are 2 rules that you should follow and keep up on regarding them. Rule number 1, which is initially the most important, is to forgive your past self. You cannot move on with a clear head until you have forgiven the decisions and mishaps that your past self has done. Don’t hate him either because without him you would not be the ‘You’ that you are today. Your past self is who you can learn the most from because he was and is you. If there was a decision you made that you wish you could have back, then acknowledge it, forgive yourself for doing it, and keep it in mind for reference later on. Which takes me right into the next rule.
Rule number 2, is make decisions for your future self. Think back on your past self real quick and imagine if they had your present self’s best interest in mind when making their decisions. Things would most likely be how you would want them to be right? Now that is what you should think of when going through your day to day life. Whether or not this be helpful or even detrimental to my future self. The most basic example of this is what time you should go to bed at night. Will you go to sleep at a time that helps your future self get up feeling well rested, or will they get up feeling tired and regret going to bed so late? These decisions are as simple as that and come across your plate multiple times a day. So having that in mind when contemplating what you should do can help you make the most beneficial decision you can.
The most understanding and forgiving person in your life will always be you, and you may most likely be the only person who has your best interest in mind. You can’t expect no one besides yourself to look out after you, so rely on the different versions of you to make sure you accomplish what you want. Forgive the things you’ve done and do the things that help you the most. You can’t have regrets if you did the best you could and made the smartest decisions that we relayed out for you.
Take care of yourself, your past self, and your future self